ERASERS ARE EVILL!
by silverdragoneyes14
Summary: Basically Ron sticks erasers up his nose, dumbldore is like a pimp and Professor Sprout grows pot and i suck att summeies please reads and review.


I do not own any Harry Potter characters.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting on the Hogwarts Express.

"Ron, what are you doing?" Harry asked. Hermione and Harry were looking at Ron.

"Sticking erasers up my nose, what does it look like?"He replied. He procceded too stick different color erasers up his nose.

"Why are you sticking erasers up your nose?"Hermione asked.

"Because they smell gooooood!" Ron said. Harry leaned in to Hermione and whispered.

"I think he's getting high on those erasers." Hermione nodded in agreement. The train came into a halt. The three got off the train and into one of the garriges, it rode off toward the castle. It took them about five minutes,(and ten erasers up Ron's nose, I know, I counted) to get there. They got out and followed up the stairs of the castle with the other students. They went into the great hall. Everyone sat down while Dumbledore was making his speech.

"Wat up y'll! How are all my peps? Ok, here are the new rules for this school: No starting fires in the Forbidden Forest unless you have your own matches. No cursing other students under adult super vision. And finally no jixing the teachers when their looking. Bonair, wateva, just eat! Peace!" Dumbledore sat down with the other teachers. Harry, Ron, Hermione sat down next to Ginny, Fred and George. The Gryffindor table didn't eat when the food arrived, they were too busy looking at Ron.

"Ron, why are you sticking erasers up your nose?" Seamus asked.

"Don't worry about him. He's been doing that all summer. I think he got addicted when he finally reliesed he's never going to get laid."Ginny replied. She said this loud enough for the whole table to hear.

"Oh ok." Everyone went back to eating while Ron was continueing to put erasers up his nose(loser). After everyone was finished eating, they went up to their common rooms.

"Good night Harry, good night Ron."

"Good night Hermione." Harry said.

"Good night Hermione." Ron said in a weird voice, probably 'cause the erasers. Hermione waved them good night and went up the girls dormitories. Ron and Harry went up the boys dormitories. Harry got undressed and into his pajamas and got into bed. Ron on the other hand just took off all his clothes and got under his bed with aton of erasers in his hands( mental inages, goood). Harry just looked at him. Then he made a mental note to himself, keep a close eye on Ron.

The next day Harry got up at his usual time, 7:30 a.m. He got dress and headed downn to the common room where he meet Hermione.

"Hey Hermione what classes do we have today?"Harry asked.

"We have Care of Magical Creatures. Then we have Professor Sprouts class."Ron came down the boys dormitories surprisingly without any erasers up his nose.

"Harry could I borrow your pencil?" Harry went into his bag and got one of his pencils and gave it to Ron.

"Here." Harry said.

"Thanks." Ron took the pencil and ripped off the eraser and of course stick it up his nose. Harry and Hermione just stared at him more.

"Why?" was all Harry hadd to say.

"My erasers are covered in boggeys right now. I'm having them cleamed." Ron turned around and headed out the potret hole.

"OOKK. So um let's go down to the Great Hall and have some breakfast before class starts." Hermione said.

"OK." They went down to the Great Hall and sat next to Ginny.

"So what classes do you have today?" Hermione asked as she grabbed the nearest bowl of oatmeal.

"Well me and a bunch of other fourth years are going to jinx Proffesor Snape while he's not looking, then we're going to hang him from the ceiling. This is going to be funny!"Ginny said.

"Sweet! Wait till you see what we're going to do today." Harry said sneakily. Ginny leaned in.

"What are you going to do?" she whispered.

"We want it to be aa surprise." They finished their breakfast and they were off to class. Hermione, Harry, and Ron headed off to Hagrid's House for their first lesson. Today their first lesson was with the Slytherins.

"Ok class today we are going into the Forbidden Forest. So if everyone will please follow me in an orderly fashion we will begin the lesson." Hagrid started for the forest, everyone just followed him scatterdly. Harry, Hermione, and Ron hang behind. They turned their backs on the others and hudled together.

"Ok, do guys remember the plan?" The others to nodded their heads.

"Ok so as soon as the others are deep enough then we will take these matches and light the forest on fire. This iss going to be a classic!" Hermione said.

"Ok look they are all the way in. Get your matches out." Harry got his out of his robes, Hermione got hers out of her pocket, Ron got his out of his shoe, were a bunch of, you guessed it, erasers fell out of his shoe. They were about to light it when Harry stop.

"What's wrong Harry?" Hermione asked.

"If we're wizards than how come we can't just use our wands?"He asked. Hermione sighed.

"Because, if we use our wands than this fanfic wouldn't be as interesting." she explained.

"Oh ok. So then is it true that you lost your viginity to Dumbledore?" Hermione blushed.

"Er..no more questions. Now are you we going to do this or what?" They light their matches with their wands and throw it into the forest. It was a matter of seconds beforethe forest. They ran away as fast as they can. Hermione started to cont down.

"10,9,8,7,"

"Wait a minute," Ron said,"where are my erasers?" He asked. He looked the spot they where only a few seconds ago.

"6,5,4,3," Ron started to run where they were. Harry tried to grab the back of Ron's shirt but missed.

"Wait Ron. Don't!"

"2,1." The Forbidden Forest bllow up. You could here they students screams from the castle. MgGonnagal was looking out her window, shaking her head.

"Not agian." she said. Harry, Ron, and Hermione started to dance with joy. Except for Ron of course, because he was on fire with the rest of the students. Ron dropped on the ground and started to roll. He was all burnt, except for his erasers of course. He went over to the two.

"It's ok. My erasers are ok. OWW! Could you guys do me a favor and get me to the hospital wing? OWW!" Ron fell to the ground.

"Should we?" Harry asked. They looked at each other.

"Na!" They said. They just left him there with the other students. They went to their next class, Professors Sprouts class. Surprisingly they weren't the only ones there. Some of the students got out ok. Professor Sprout walked into the class.

"Ok, listen up you little munchkins. I will not tolerate your little behavior in the class and," she trailed off. "What are you students doing back there?" She headed to the back of the room were a couple of students were sitting around a plant.

"What are you students growing over here?" she asked more. They took thee plant and show her.

"OMG! This is pot! You students know that smoking in here is unexceptible." The students just looked at her.

"That's ten points from Slytherin for not giving me some!" She grabbed one of the joints away from the students and started smoking it.

"This year is going to a very interesting year!" Seamus said. Harry and Hermione went to the Hospital Wing to visit Ron. He was sitting in the bed at the far end. They walked over to him.

"Hey Ron, how are you feeling?"Hermione asked.

"Feeling much better no thanks to you guys. Why didn't you help me?"Ron asked

"Well it is kinda your falt. If you hadn't gone back for those stupid erasers than you wouldn't be in this mess." By now, Ron's face was turning redder than his hair. Harry and Hermione backed up from him, scared. His eyes started twitching. He pointed his finger at them.

"NEVER, EVER INSULT ERASERS IN FRONT OF ME! NEVER!" He screamed.

"Ok, ok we're sorry. We'll never insult your 'precious' erasers again." They turned around and left. They headed up to the Gryffindor Common Room. They took the seats by the fire.

"That was scary!" Hermione said in barly a whisper.

"What are we going to do with him Hermione? He has gone compeltly

insane!" Harry said. They heard the potret down open behind them. It was Ron.

"Look Ron, we just wanted to say that we are truely sorry, and," Hermione was cut off by Ron putting his hand up.

"I know that you guys are not really sorry. You just don't enjoy erasers like I do! I don't need you to feel sorry me and I don't need your help!" He stormed up to the boys' dormitories. The two just stared at each other. Then they both heard a sound coming from Ron's room.

"AAAAHHHH! HERMIONE! HARRY! HELLLLLPPPPP!" Harry and Hermione raced up the stairs to see what was wrong. When they saw Ron's dilema all they could do was just stand there and shake their heads. Ron had got the erasers actually stuck up his nose. He was starting to turn purple. So Harry decided to help Ron. He got out his wand and said a spell and the erasers flew out of his nose.

"OW. OW. OW." Ron pinched his nose.

"Thanks you guys. I'm sorry guys. I shouldn't have talked to you that way."

"It's ok. Hermione and I are going to go to the end of the school feast. Are you going to come with us?" Harry asked.

"Na. You go on with out me. I'm going to catch up with you later." The two left Ron alone. They ran down to the Great Hall where of course sat next to Ginny, Fred and George. The hall started to talk very loudly.

"So how was your little prank on Snape?" Fred asked.

"Oh it was great! You should have seen the lok on his face when we hung him up on the ceiling! He was yelling at us to take him down and it, well you'd have to be there." Fred nodded that he understood. The whole school suddenly began very quiet. Ron entered the hall,(I know what your thinking: no he did not have erasers up his nose.) He went over to Harry, Hermione, Fred and George, and Ginny. Ron looked around.

"Why are you all looking at me?" He asked.

"Er..b-because Ron, you usually have erasers up your nose and now you don't." Fred replied. Ron looked around at the rest of the of the students. They were waiting for his answer.

"Well ever sense that little insident upstairs I've decided to stop putting erasers up my nose." The news was so shocking that some of the students actually fainted. Those who remained sitting cheered.

"Wow that's good news Ron!" Harry patted him on the back.

"Instead I've decided to sniff glue!" He took a bottle of glue out of his robes and started to sniff it. When the school heard this they groaned. They took Ron and threw him out of they school and they got back to their lives.

**THE END!**


End file.
